Compromise doesn't always mean 'giving in'

I guess this also relates to my post about perfectionism, because it's about finding a way forward that doesn't involve doing things 'perfectly'.

I would love to be the perfect housewife, the perfect mother, to only buy organic, to make all our food from scratch, to grown our own fruit and vegetable, to reduce my carbon footprint... you get the idea.

But to want, and try, to achieve all of that at once, is just impossible, and asking for massive disappointment and guilt.

So I'm learning to compromise on my lofty ideals and accept that sometimes compromise is better than not trying at all. For instance: one day I might make my own cleaning products from scratch, but for now I buy green products and use a lot of baking soda and vinegar.

One day we hope to grow at least some of our fruit and veges, but right now I accept that we don't have a place to do that, and enjoy that we have our own free range eggs.

I would love to buy only organic, but sometimes the budget doesn't stretch that far. So I have some rules - I only ever buy free range chicken (and if I had to buy eggs, I would only ever buy free range), and I only buy free range pork. Beef and lamb aren't such an issue here - yet - as they're still allowed to live on farm land rather than in feed lots.

My son wears disposable nappies, but we have a septic tank (that kind of balances out in my mind). We also are not connected to mains water and only have a very small water tank, so sometimes having enough water to wash nappies could be a real problem...

So, I'm trying to accept that I am making some small, gradual improvements in our lives, and realising that it is better to take one or two small steps than it is to just stand still.

Fighting perfectionism

I bet that most people, when they think of a perfectionist, have an image of an impeccably turned out person who has everything in their life under tight control. A house where you'd be scared to put things down or even to walk in case you messed stuff up.

I'm not that kind of perfectionist! I'm what I like to call a lazy perfectionist, in that if I don't think I will be able to do something 'perfectly', then I generally don't do it at all. Which is all very well, but I end up living a life I'm not happy with.

So I'm trying to make this my new mantra. Because the number of things I've wanted to do, but haven't even bothered trying because it 'wouldn't be perfect', is quite depressing. Because I really want to at least *try* to live the life of my dreams. And, I want my little boy to grow up thinking that it is better to try and fail than to never try anything.

Would you believe that I played the piano for years and years? And practised (fairly) regularly. So I *can* do it.

I tend to opt for the 'path of least resistance' - but that's also the path of low satisfaction...

What about you?

Home

We are lucky enough to own (well, you know, paying the bank for it) a gorgeous block of land with a fairytale cottage, right on the edge of the Dandenong Ranges forest. It's steep - not a great deal of flat land to work with. It gets a little bit scary in bad weather, as these gum trees have a bad habit of falling down.

But it's home. Actually, it's feeling more and more like home lately. For a long time it felt like a terrible mistake - the house was unfinished (still is really), and we were both working in the city - over an hour commute each way. But now, with a toddler running around claiming all the territory as "mine!", and with uncountable hours of labour (mostly hubby's, but also friends and hired help), it's starting to feel like it really is home.

As my husband says, "we're not bloody moving now, not after all the time and money we've poured into it!"

Love - Honour - Cherish ...

So I want to share my journey, perhaps to feel some sort of accountability for acting on my dreams, for the choices I make. So I hope this blog will help me with that, and maybe strike some chords for others.